Redefining Manhood: How a father in Uganda grew to support his family in new ways

The Start, Awareness, Support, and Action (SASA!) Together Approach is being used by the Spotlight Initiative to  support communities to prevent violence against women and girls and reduce HIV risk by addressing power imbalances between men and women. Through SASA! communities critically reflect on how power is used in relationships, families, and society. Instead of blaming individuals, it encourages positive use of power - promoting respect, equality, and non-violence.

Acknowledging the Problem

Before joining the SASA! Together sessions, 56-year-old Valentino Muhindo had increasingly turned to alcohol, a habit that was gradually destroying his family and draining his finances in his hilly village of Kibisire, Kitabu–Kyarumba Sub-County, Kasese District, Western Uganda. “We had become strangers in our own home,” he admitted, “I didn’t care whether there was food left or not. To me, I thought I was just being ‘man enough’.” He described immense tension and conflict in the home. 

During the first SASA! learning sessions, Valentino was introduced to concepts on preventing violence against women and girls, family collaboration, practicing shared decision-making, and using power positively in relationships. “When I returned home after the training, I told my wife, ‘It felt as though the trainers understood exactly what was happening in our home.’ At the beginning of the sessions, I felt uninterested. But as I listened to the messages, I began reflecting on the harm I was causing in my own household because of my perceived ‘power’ as a man.”

Taking Action Through the SASA! Together Approach 

Encouraged by what he had learned, dynamics around household finances shifted. Valentino and his wife, Jane, set aside 100,000 Ugandan shillings (approximately $28) for Jane to start a coffee trading business. Although initially skeptical about her husband’s change in behavior, Jane began making profits from the business, which also helped cover school requirements for their eight children.

The family also embarked on a brick-making project to construct their dream home. “We are now in the first phase of our brick-making project, where we expect to produce 20,000 bricks. We will sell these bricks to buy building materials such as cement, iron sheets, and timber,” Valentino says with a smile. He hopes to start building their house after selling the second batch of bricks.

Building Partnerships, Inspiring Change

Alongside these more peaceful and equal dynamics at home, the couple has seen their children develop and grow, one has qualified as a health worker, another is an electrician, and one is an agriculturalist. “We are now supporting each other as a family more than ever. My other five children are also progressing well in school,” he adds. The family has planted coffee and cocoa on their three acres of land, which they hope will boost their income and improve their livelihoods in the near future.

Because of his positive behaviors, Valentino now serves as the Local Council 1 Chairman of his village, Kibisire. “My community members entrusted me with this leadership role because they saw me as a changed family man,” Valentino shared. Through the learning sessions, he gained skills that enabling him to transform his community. They are shifting away from alcohol and harmful behaviours, to being responsible family men. Today, he continues to support his community members through counseling and guidance on family matters.

The Spotlight Initiative is a major multi-year programme by the European Union, Embassy of the Netherlands  and United Nations, dedicated to eliminating all forms of violence against women and girls (VAWG), including harmful practices like child marriage and FGM, and strengthening survivors’ access to services. 

In Uganda, it’s implemented through a strong partnership among seven UN agencies—including UN Women, UNDP, UNFPA, UNICEF, and UNHCR—alongside the Government and civil society.